The new Deftones album is great even though the cover art is awful. If you liked White Pony you won't be disappointed, even though I think this one's a bit weaker. 

And now that we're done with the review :

{THE STORY OF EL REBEL AND THE CLERK}

El Rebel wasn't really a rebel but the Clerk really was a clerk. They didn't really have a lot in common, those two, apart from a shared appeal to heavy breasts and heavy metal. The main difference between them was that El Rebel only liked heavy breasts and heavy metal while the Clerk liked good music as well. 

. : man, why do we need a guy with taste ? and where are the ho's? 
.. : well, maybe the writer can cut the Clerk's part down, replace him with someone more adequate and add a few girls here and there

{THE STORY OF EL REBEL, EL REY AND THE GIRL}

On a sunny afternoon El Rebel woke up, a girl lying by his side. It took him a few seconds to realize what had happened the night before and he knew he wasn't the one who ought to be ashamed. His head was aching and as he went to the kitchen he recognized El Rey's singular snore coming from the couch. He drank a big glass of water to chase the alcohol away, looked at the shape on the couch and shook is head in disappointment.

.. : that's better don't you think ? 
. : well, it is, but why is he disappointed ?

Some shady things had happened the night before.

. : oh, alright

El Rey opened one eye and mumbled "gracias" before resuming his snoring activities.

. : what about the girl ? need to warm things up a little
.. : do you have some coke left ?
. : sure, have a sip

The girl woke up with a dazed look on her face. It took her a few seconds to remember what had happened the night before. She could not remember everything but she knew she wasn't the one who ought to be ashamed. 

. : man I hope there's going to be a flashback of some sort

El Rebel went to the bathroom to take a shower. He thought of the five girls he had slept with in the past three days and smiled. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and said : usted realmente es un hombre, El Rebel.

.. : do you think he's going to masturbate ?
. : no, but I wouldn't mind some steamy action

El Rebel opened the bathroom door and let steam invade the apartment. He went into his room and passed silently by the girl as she went to the kitchen. She prepared herself a cup of tea and sat at the coffee table, still a little confused. She regularly heard El Rey mumbling gibberish but did not pay attention. She finished the cup of tea, gathered her stuff and walked out of the flat.

. : have you seen the latest Jim Carrey movie ?
.. : oh yeah, Jennifer Aniston is hot in that
. : tank tops really suit her well

El Rey opened his eyes and yawned noisily. El Rebel came into the living room and stared at him coldly. El Rey started to remember that he ought to be ashamed, even though he couldn't really grasp the reason why. He asked : ¿ Que ha pasado ?

. : yeah, what happened ?

El Rebel considered the options ahead of him and said : Nada. 

He couldn't have been more right.

-Barbara H

/june 1st 2003/